I am a couple of days away from (re)starting my life as a student. At the age of 42. Some say this is a midlife crisis. Others are inspired. I am a bit scared. Not because I have to re-learn how learning works. Learning stuff is awesome. As a self-learner, I have learned more new stuff in my free time than when I was forced to. I chose to engage in this degree out of a mix of idealism, inferiority complex (thanks, dad) and the desire to earn more money at the end of the tunnel. It's not like I need a higher degree to further my career, rather the opposite: This degree will mark a pivot to a new career. But not necessarily to one with higher income.
The potential salary awaiting on the others might actually be lower, unless I sell out to greenwashing or legislatively forced cost centers.
In 2025 Germany, you almost always have to live with a lower salary if you want to do social work, help people or in general refuse to build cars and arms compared to top earners in IT or legacy industry.
Reteach stroke patients speaking, or help kids to a normal life when born with a speech impediment? Here, live with a monthly salary of 1.400 EUR. Want to write user stories for the third iteration of a software that is in internal competition with the existing solution for that carmaker who builds the world's most asocial SUVs? How do 6000 EUR sound?
Oh, you want to work in the field of sustainability? That topic is dead as long as Trumpism reigns supreme. And also: The climate crisis is just not important if the automotive industry is at risk. So go figure. In addition: The job market is surprisingly brutal.
Sustainability was just a fad
Well, it can't stay like this forever, correct? One day, broken water cycles and extreme weather patterns will eat too much margin of gilded corporate lords and sustainability will be back on the menu. Right? Even if the West follows China's lead and makes away with democracy. Will a dwindling access to natural, exploitable resources require a pivot in value chains?
Maybe the dismantling of globalism has some perks for those focusing on circular economy instead of overstretched logistic chains. No matter if people of the world return their attention to creating a better world for those who come after us or if they keep holding on to the status quo for their dear lives, sustainability is poised to return to the spotlight. Doesn't matter if it does under the guise of idealism or naked brutal realism.
Feed the monster or starve
So what am I scared about? Simply the fact that I will not be able to feed my family until I am able to be part of this pivot. For you see as middle middle-class, we have too much money in the bank account to receive state funding, but not enough to bear the costs of running a family without adequate income without literally eating away our live-savings. We are, indirectly, asked to spend all our savings until we run out. Only then will the state come into to support higher education.
How dare do I leave my post specifying software features for securely monetizing seat heating in 3.5t elevated private estates on public roads? Don't want to feed the earth eating monster that is shareholder value anymore? Be punished. You want to help people live a better life by learning how to speak properly? Surely you can do that on a barely survivable monthly salary.
It's not joining an elite institution that scares me, it's knowing that on the other side an economy, which purposefully not prepared for a changing climate, awaits. Paired with financial hardship along the way, which feels almost like it was designed to make me turn back.
So I pay a price for idealism long before I sat my ass down in again a lecture hall.